As I sit here in my doctor’s office, I realize God has given me an uninvited break. I guess, sometimes, I pray for a moment to catch up on things. This is my moment; although, it came at a cost.
Whether I overdid it at the gym, lifting my 21 pound infant in his car seat or giving my kids one too many boosts on the monkey bars – I managed to immobilize myself. Somehow, I injured my upper back. Seriously, I have spent the past 24 hours in an upright position with very, very little range of motion. I can hardly breathe from the pain.
I can’t help but wonder, if I had of properly cared for myself and taken a break, would this have still happened? Maybe, this uninvited break is actually a silently invited one. Perhaps, it came at just the right time. I’m sure God knew, the only way to slow me down was to force me to sit. Sit and rest. Two words I know very little about.
As my husband knows, I am horrible at slowing down. I only function in a fast, faster and fastest pace. So slowing down and in fact, stopping, has been a long, extremely hard 24 hours. I know this about myself. What I didn’t know about myself, was how to be content with myself.
God has been working on the area of contentment in my life. I am learning to be content with decisions, possessions and finding peace in being present over perfect. I had no idea I was about to be faced with being content in who I am.
While forced to stop, I had a difficult time not meeting the needs of my household. I thrive on being a mother and wife to my family; however, God revealed to me that does not define who I am. As I wiped tears away while saying goodbye to my children, who were heading out to their evening extracurriculars, I felt frustrated. I should be the one driving them to class. I was failing at meeting my family’s needs. I felt useless. That’s when I heard the Holy Spirit remind me who I am.
Yes, I am a mother, a wife, a disciple of God, a friend etc. – but I am called to so much more than those roles. I am an artsy, crafty, kitchen lovin, health nut, blogger who needs a creative outlet and time to be with my own thoughts.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take time to be you and fill up that cup! I’m beginning with baby steps.